COVER GIRL SHANNON ELIZABETH She gave dorks hope as a horny foreign exchange student in American Pie. Now her moans turn to shrieks in the upcoming horror flick Cursed.

WE WANT ANSWERS! HUGO WEAVING As Agent Smith in The Matrix and Elrond in Return of the King, Hugo Weaving will rule geek conventions for years to come. But is he good or evil?

SELF HELP! IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE So another year has passed and you’re still living over your parents’ garage? Take our quiz and find out if your life is a steaming pile of donkey chocolate…or not.

YOU’VE GOT MAIL CARDS OF THE STARS Celebs write cheesy holiday cards—just like us! Ashton submits his wish list to Demi, Kobe tries to patch things up with Vanessa, and some stupid ones, too!

SPACE INVADER TRICIA HELFER In sci-fi’s Battlestar Galactica miniseries, Tricia plays a seductive alien robot who tricks a man into divulging military secrets that jeopardize Earth. And women wonder why we keep our distance emotionally.

PULP FICTION BRAIN CANDY Best-selling authors give us a juicy sneak peak at their latest thrillers. Plus: Richard Grant introduces us to the open road and every trucker, cowboy, and hooker he met along the way.

JUST THE FACTS EVA LONGORIA Finally, a reason to watch another cop show. The Latina beauty and Texas native joins the cast of ABC’s L.A. Dragnet. She can…damn! All outta night-stick jokes.